THE TITLE IS CHER-ED!!!

It was said that ‘STARS IN THEIR EYES’ was a one-off, a feat that’s success could never be repeated. Then, when this was conclusively trumped by “THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST’ many questioned what else could be achieved. But with the “Tour de Force” of ‘POP IDOL’, a combination of the ridiculous, sublime and downright depraved, the Aberdare RFC Tour Fund Entertainments Team has once again surpassed itself.

In the incapable hands of Aberdare’s very own Ant and Dec, Laughing Lyndon and Chris Griff, the audience lapped up their starters and were soon licking their lips. The audition video showing both contestants and rejects generated laughs and anticipation in equally generous measures, and when the main course was ready to be served it was Bon Appetite City!!!

Kick-starting the main event was a belting performance of George Michael’s ‘Faith’ by Stephen Jenkins that was greeted with a controversial split decision from the judges. While Grizzly Adams and Simon Cowell were less than impressed, voicing their condemnation with no punches spared, it was surprisingly Nasty Nick Davies who provided the sweet antidote to the sour offerings of his colleagues.

Next into the firing line was guest Anthony Meads, whose wonderfully competent rendition of ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ was received with equally competent derision by the stone-faced trio. Berating the stunned contestant with both barrels and then subsequent reloads, the judges left the audience in no doubt over their opinions of the dish served to them, commenting on the “blandness” of the performance.

Gavin ‘Insanity’ Rees produced a highly original interpretation of The Culture Club classic ‘Karma Chameleon’. After whipping the crowd into a frenzy of jaw-dropping amusement, he was duly rewarded with surprisingly positive feedback from Adams, while both Cowell and, more bitingly, Nasty Nick spewed bitter and vitriolic comments in response to his efforts.

Debutant Luke Brennan then proceeded to woo the female contingent with his sweet and fresh version of ‘Groovy Kind of Love.’ But despite moistening the palate of all ladies present, the judges, most viciously Grizzly Adams, remained defiantly dismissive of the appetising offering placed in front of them.

The next act on stage undeniably had the ‘WOW’ factor as resident DJ Luke Thomas arrived dressed in the garnish and side salad of Cher costume, wig, suspenders et al, as he prepared to bang out the high tempo “If I Could Turn Back Time”. Despite the chastising remarks of the unimpressed judges, Thomas’ performance left such an indelible mark in the mouths and stomachs of the audience that from there on, there was only ever going to be one winner.

(I wish to apologise to Darren as I lost several picture of the evening his were amongst them)

The final course was a moving representation of ‘Angels’ by Darren Thomas that had the crowd reaching for their handkerchiefs and pocket lighters in turn. Despite stirring the audience with his performance, the judges were not as rewarding and the wolfish triumvirate took turns to tear the lamb-like Thomas to shreds.

For desert, the already spoiled audience were treated to the succulent pleasures of Sian, a brash 28-year old mother of 17 from Ynyshir in Rhondda. After delightfully caressing the taste-buds of all those present with her unique and alternative version of ‘I Will Survive’, she followed this up with a verbal defence of her performance that had the judges tongue-tied and the crowd screaming for seconds.

After the votes were counted and DJ Luke was declared the winner as widely expected, he served up an encore of his victorious recipe, which was once again consumed whole-heartedly by the open-mouthed and appreciative audience.

Finally, it was left to DJ Ralph to provide the musical assistance that would aid those present in digesting the bounteous feast that had been placed before them.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who contributed to make this night such an astounding success.

You know who you are!!!